Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Life I Live

I've lived in Amherst almost all of my life, I spent 3 happy years in Lousiville, and now I am back in Amherst, alone. How did this happen? How in the world did I ever agree to come back to this shitty little town? I left saying I would never come back and now I have! Thank God, there is something better lying on the outskirts of this exile to 'Elba'. I don't think I could have ever been Napoleon Bonaparte, to be exiled sucks more than anyone could imagine. I keep feeling like someone put a fork through my chest and is twisting my heart like spaghetti. I'm around family who treats me like the black sheep, and I have one friend left here, and she has her own problems if you can't tell by her blog. So, why can't figure out why I said yes? I have no idea, I could have figured something out!

I'm left all day alone with my thoughts, now that the kids are in school, and this could turn bad. I'm left with sharp utensils, alcohol, cigarettes and myself. Probably the worst combination you have ever heard of! No I haven't done anything stupid, but that's because I am venting on here! If I hadn't of found this site, it could have gotten really bad, really fast. I don't know anymore, I've just been in a pissy sort of mood, I feel like walking along the railroad tracks, kicking rocks. :)
Anyways, onto the rest of the night and waiting until November!! yay!


  1. Lizz I love you but if you use those sharp utensils I'm gonna be alittle upset. No going back to that.

  2. Its great how writing could heal us, i started writing because i had a lot to say and no one to say it to, writing my blog have lifted a big weight off my shoulder.