Thursday, October 15, 2009

Time Consuming

This is the library I want, and the worst part is I have enough books that I could start a library. Ok, I guess the ones I don't read again I could donate but I always end up giving them to friends to borrow and read, so why should I? But the one thing I love isn't keeping me occupied long enough to waste my day away, so I started looking for something else. Facebook didn't last long, neither did MySpace. I just kept thinking; 'How much longer do I have to sit in this hell hole, playing Alice*?' Now, I love you guys all of you, and I will continue to blog but this isn't keeping my attention anymore either.
And then, I get told that I wasn't part of a plan, that this entire plan is worked out and I was thought about once but seeing as I'm up here, I might not be part of it! Then why the fuck tell me? Why not wait until that weekend this plan is suppose to happen, let me call you and then tell me about it? Because you don't want me getting upset that you are off with other people, drinking and having fun, while I get sit here and wait! I don't want to do it anymore, I can't do it anymore, I'm on the verge of just telling people to fuck off, shut of my sources to my other life and this one (facebook, blog, etc.) and say fuck it I'm done calling, but part of me can't do that yet. It's the part of me that doesn't want to give up and doesn't want to not be with him! I am so lost and I feel like the world is spinning around me, trying to fuck me over into thinking that I could live alone with 3 billion cats. I couldn't, I would go crazy and then y'all would see me on the news about how I was keeping dead cat bodies in my freezer and have a taxidermist making them into statues to put around my living room. Hell, no one would want to come over and if I gave up now I wouldn't have any kids to worry about Christmas for, so why the hell not?
I'm already going crazy, I know I am. I need to just get out of this damn town and back where I belong! I so wish that I could create a time machine or some kind of teleportation device.
Anyways, I hope this was a good read and I hope that I get some comments that say don't leave please or something like that.
*Referance to The Brady Bunch!
5 songs that are stuck in my sister's head:
Annie's Song- John Denver
Forever- Chris Brown
Fly Me to the Moon- Sinatra
Through the Fire and Flames- Dragon Force
Mr. Roboto- Styx


  1. So. I haven't really followed your blog enough to feel like I "know" you yet, and when I read this I felt really bad for you. What I gather is that this is about a boy who is pissing you off and leaving you hanging.

    Eff sitting by the phone. Go out and do something fun this weekend.

    I am going to go back and read some previous entries to see if maybe I have it all wrong or something... but seriously, here's a bloggy hug from me to you. It sounds like you needed it.

  2. It's not just the 'boy', seriously we are wonderful together but Its been a long couple of months of being seperated by 300 miles, and my family drives me nuts and so on. So I really can't wait to be bak in Louisville.

  3. Hey baby, it'll all work out in the end! I know your family is driving you nuts, and I'm not moving as fast as you want me to, but I am trying to get a place to live, and you know I can't get my license for a couple of weeks or so, but you will be home in my arms hopefully really soon! Love ya with all my heart!